Change of Heart
by Tohda
Summary: If I did the right thing.... Then why does it hurt?.....    A story about decisions. Kaoru centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Change Of Heart**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Ouran High School Host Club. Nor do I own the song entitled "Change of Heart" since this one's by Jim Brickman. Another song in this fic is entitled "I'm Still Here" and it was one of the songs in the "Treasure Planet" movie.

**Change Of Heart**

* * *

**I feel that I'm at a crossroads**

**I don't know which way to go**

**You say that I am changing**

**Into someone that you don't know**

* * *

Kaoru watched as his brother engaged in another fight with Tamaki. Seriously, with the way things were going, Kaoru was surprised Tamaki still have his voice considering that he has been shouting for three hours now. Can the man be any stupider? Hikaru's face could probably burst with all the smiling he's been doing but Tamaki still hasn't realized that his reactions were only fueling Hikaru's teasing. Kaoru grinned to himself and was about to join his brother when Haruhi decided to put a stop to the bickering.

"Stop it, both of you!" Haruhi bit out, annoyance clearly seen in her face. "I don't belong to anyone but to myself and secondly, you're not my father, Tamaki-sempai!"

"What?" Tamaki brought his hands to his chest in mock hurt. He turned to Kyouya. "Okaasan!!! Daughter's being so mean!!!"

Hikaru laughed as Kyouya ignored the blonde guy. He would have said something to further annoy the blonde when Haruhi gave him a look. Kaoru shook his head, smiling. That wouldn't work. Hikaru would probably tease the girl now.

However, Kaoru was surprised when Hikaru smiled sheepishly and stopped his teasing.

"It looks like your brother's finally learning," Kyouya remarked softly as he stepped beside Kaoru.

They watched Tamaki trying to get Haruhi's attention while the girl talked with Hikaru.

"It seems," Kyouya continued, "he learned to be more mature now."

"Ah," Kaoru agreed. Inside, he was bothered by the thoughts that had surfaced. It's true that sometime soon, he and Hikaru would have to grow up and be more mature, but Kaoru always thought that when that happens, he'd be aware of the changes and still be able to share the world with his twin. After all, they would be growing up together, right? Kaoru always thought that if Hikaru were to grow more mature, it'd be because of Kaoru's influence. Not anyone else's. However, it seemed as though Hikaru had grown more mature because of Haruhi. Kaoru smiled sadly.

'It seems,' he thought, 'I don't know you anymore.'

* * *

**Who I am and who I'll be**

**Is locked inside, inside of me**

* * *

Kaoru plopped down the bed he shared with Hikaru, not bothering to change into more comfortable clothes. He stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. He recalled the events that had occurred just recently.

'Not just awhile ago,' Kaoru realized. 'It's been happening a lot lately.'

What was happening was that Hikaru was acting differently. Kaoru could no longer predict what his brother would do. Back then, Kaoru always knew what his brother would say or do and vice versa. This was why they always pulled their acts well. They always knew what the other was thinking so synchronization was no problem. Neither was impromptu dialogues. However, those were all things of the past. Now, Kaoru can't even tell whether his brother would stop teasing someone. He wasn't so sure about half of what his brother's thoughts are these days. And sometimes, Kaoru wasn't so sure if he still mattered to his brother at all.

Indeed, Hikaru has matured… a little. Nevertheless, shouldn't Kaoru be able to still tell what his twin is thinking or how his twin would react to certain situations? They were still together; they had their world even though they've talked to people more than they did as children. Nothing was different except that they met a person who could actually tell them apart. So why do things seem different?

…. Why… does Hikaru feel so far away? ….

* * *

**And if I follow my heart**

**Will you still be my friend**

**If we break apart?**

**How do I make, how will you take**

**My change of heart?**

* * *

Kaoru didn't move from his position even as Hikaru entered the room.

"Oi, Kaoru," Hikaru sat down the bed beside Kaoru. "Guess what happened?"

"Hmm?" Kaoru just looked at his twin.

Hikaru grinned, holding up a victory sign.

"I've got a date with Haruhi this Saturday!" he said excitedly.

"Eh?" Kaoru tried to sound enthusiastic. "How did you get Tono to agree? Scratch that, how did you convince Haruhi?"

"Hmm…. Didn't take much," Hikaru smirked. "Tono actually helped me by making a complete fool of himself, which led Haruhi to me."

"Heheh…." Kaoru tried to join his laughing twin. However, as Hikaru left to take a bath, Kaoru's smile faded.

'He didn't even notice….'

Kaoru turned to one side, facing the window.

'Things are really different now,' Kaoru smiled sadly. 'But then, I was the one who pushed him to step forward. At least I think that was what I did.'

…_. And I want a moment to be real_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel_

_Wanna hold on, and feel I belong_

_And how, can the world want me to change?_

_They're the ones that stay the same_

_They can't see me, but I'm still here…. _

'Tch,' Kaoru thought. 'Stupid song. Haruhi's fault for making us watch that cartoon – no wait! That was Tono forcing us to watch that cartoon as to understand the commoner's choice of entertainment. But still… the song makes sense…. I guess everyone wants to feel belonged. Always wishing for good things, always dreaming and wishing things were real…. I guess that's just the way humans are. But then…. I never really cared before. Because every moment I had with Hikaru… even if it were just the two of us in our own world… every moment was real to me. And I always felt that I belong to that world. That was why it didn't matter if no else could understand. It didn't matter if that world was apart from everyone else's world. So why did I start the change? Why did I push him forward? When did I decide that our world wasn't enough? When did I decide that things needed to change? Was… I really the one who changed?'

Kaoru lost himself in his thoughts as the song from the cartoon replayd itself in his mind. Indeed, he felt like the character being described in the song. Lately, Hikaru has been ignoring him. It seemed so real then, that one line in that song. After all, Hikaru never seems to notice him lately… even though Kaoru was just next to him.

…. He can't see me, but I'm still here….

* * *

**For years you have been my best friend**

**I thought that would always be**

* * *

Saturday came quickly. Now, Kaoru was watching Hikaru rummage through the closet.

"If you plan to ever develop the relationship, you have to remember to be considerate," Kaoru reminded his twin.

"I know," Hikaru rolled his eyes and then grinned, slinging an arm around Kaoru's shoulders. "Come on, give me a little credit, Kaoru. I'm not THAT stupid."

"Heh," Kaoru smiled. "Says he who left the girl just because he got jealous."

"That was different!" Hikaru said defensively.

"Uh huh," Kaoru grinned.

"Besides, everyone does strange things when they're jealous," Hikaru reasoned out.

"So you do admit that you were jealous," Kaoru smiled.

"That was just once. I won't get jealous now…. I think."

Laughter filled the room.

"At least Tamaki–sempai won't be around to ruin anything," Kaoru said as he watched his brother go back to rummaging through the closet for clothes.

"Hmm?" Hikaru poked his head out of the closet to look at his twin. "What are you talking about?"

"Ah!" Kaoru held his hands upward. "Nothing! Hehehe…."

Hikaru frowned.

"Saying that just makes it clear that something's going on," Hikaru muttered, returning to his task of finding the right clothes to wear.

Kaoru sighed with relief. If Hikaru found out that they had tailed him during his first "date" with Haruhi….

"I knew the ice cream vendor looked a little too familiar then," Hikaru muttered. "It was Tamaki–sempai, wasn't it?"

"Ah, hehehe," Kaoru grinned sheepishly. "You know how much of an idiot he can be."

"Yeah," Hikaru agreed. "And you are, too."

"Huh?" Kaoru stopped smiling as he looked at his twin brother.

Hikaru just looked at Kaoru, seriously.

"How long do you plan to keep whatever it is bothering you to yourself?" Hikaru asked. "And did you really think I won't notice?"

* * *

**You know that I just can't pretend**

**It's written all over me**

* * *

"H–how long have you known?" Kaoru stammered. "How did you find out?"

Hikaru rolled his eyes.

"Since you started becoming troubled," Hikaru answered.

Kaoru's heart skipped a beat.

"… because you don't normally fuss this much," Hikaru continued.

Kaoru's heart sank.

"So what's wrong?" Hikaru finished.

"It's nothing," Kaoru forced a grin.

"Kaoru," Hikaru said warningly.

"Look at the time!" Kaoru pushed Hikaru towards the bathroom, pulling some random clothes and pushing them into Hikaru's hands. "You can't be late for the date! Meanwhile, I need to go somewhere. Have fun!"

"Kao–!" Hikaru didn't finish the sentence when Kaoru closed the door of the bathroom.

"Fine!" he huffed, making sure that his voice was loud enough for Kaoru to hear. "But we're talking about this when I get back."

"Aa," Kaoru said softly, leaning against the wall beside the bathroom.

So, Hikaru didn't notice after all. Kaoru thought that his brother actually noticed that he has been having trouble for quite some time now. Apparently, he thought wrong. Hikaru only thought he was troubled just recently – meaning just today. He didn't want to tell Hikaru what was worrying him, but if his brother remembers to ask him about this after the date, Kaoru was willing to tell his twin everything. That is, if Hikaru will remember to ask.

"But…" Kaoru pushed himself off the wall and started to walk towards the door, "I know you won't remember at all."

* * *

**'Cuz where I'll go**

**And what I'll do, I just can't see**

**My life without you**

* * *

Kaoru watched from the window as Hikaru got in one of their many cars and drove off. He sighed and looked around.

Now what? What was he supposed to do now? He wasn't used to being alone in the house… or anywhere for the matter. He always had Hikaru. Somehow, they always found a way to make things fun no matter where they were. Now that he was alone, Kaoru didn't know what to do.

Kaoru didn't hear the second car coming in, nor did he hear the front door open and the servants greeting the person who entered the house. He was too engrossed in his thoughts and only snapped out of them when a soft voice called his name.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru looked to the side and saw his mother who just returned from a trip abroad.

"Ah," Kaoru smiled, moving to hug his mother, "welcome back, mom."

When he reached his mother, he hugged her and felt her hug him back. Just as Kaoru was about to pull away, his mother whispered to him.

"What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked softly.

Kaoru froze. He pulled away completely and looked at his mother.

"How did you know?" he asked, timidly.

"I'm your mother," Mrs. Hitachiin said simply.

Kaoru laughed softly. His parents, especially his mother, never cease to amaze him. It's true that they were rarely around since work required them to travel constantly. Yet, despite the fact that their parents have not seen much of them as they grew up, it was only their parents who could still tell them apart. They always said the same thing when asked how: "I'm your father" or "I'm your mother." It never occurred to the twins to ask for more explanation. It was as though such reason were enough. And now, this same reason was enough for Kaoru. Still, for his mother to know that he was troubled just when she arrived after being away for months and for Hikaru to only notice when he has been around since forever….

"Would you like to talk about it?" his mother asked, kindly.

"Maybe later," Kaoru said, hoping that later, his mother would forget. "You should rest. You just arrived after all. I'll have the cook prepare something for you."

His mother didn't say anything more than a soft "thank you" and followed Kaoru, who helped her to her room. However, when Kaoru turned to leave, his mother squeezed his hand in reassurance. It was enough to make Kaoru want to cry.

* * *

**If I follow my heart**

**Will you still be my friend?**

* * *

During the evening, it was only Kaoru and his mother eating dinner since Hikaru was still on his date while Mr. Hitachiin was out of the country. They had a pleasant conversation; Mrs. Hitachiin asking about Kaoru's current hobbies and about school while Kaoru asked his mother about her trip to Singapore.

"There wasn't much to see," Mrs. Hitachiin said. "Nothing much has changed since we last went there for a holiday."

"I guess that means Singapore won't be the next item in my list of places to spend my summers in then," Kaoru smiled.

"Well," Mrs. Hitachiin said wryly, "it shouldn't be boring for you. I remember how you and your brother nearly gave me a heart attack when both of you decided to cross the street while the light was still showing a go signal for the cars. I remember both of you laughing so hard and planning your next adventure while you were there."

"But, mom," Kaoru laughed. "It wasn't my fault! Hikaru decided he wanted to see the arcade across the street."

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault," Mrs. Hitachiin said, sarcasm evident in her voice. "Just as it wasn't your fault when the police approached your father to talk about the cigarette pack found on your hands?"

"Oh, that was for an experiment," Kaoru grinned. "Hikaru and I were going to extract the nicotine from the cigarettes and see which brand contains the most."

"That would be believable, dear," Mrs. Hitachiin said, patiently, "if both of you hadn't done those at five years old. After all, even at your age now, I doubt you'd have an experiment that deals with extraction of nicotine or if you do, it'd be a new experiment for you. Not an experiment five–year–olds can do, actually. Secondly, you didn't have any extraction apparatus with you at that time."

"Hehehe…." Kaoru grinned sheepishly. His brother was much better at making excuses as compared to Kaoru. Why, if he were around now….

Kaoru's smile became smaller.

'Aa, if he WERE here,' Kaoru thought. 'But that's highly unlikely.'

"Want to talk about it now?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked softly.

Kaoru snapped out of his thoughts, smiling at his mother.

"I've been waiting the whole time," Mrs. Hitachiin continued. "Since you didn't say anything, I thought maybe you weren't quite as ready to tell so I tried to get your mind off of things. However, I think it's still troubling you. You can tell me anything, dear."

"I know, mom," Kaoru said. "It's just that…."

"Yes?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked when Kaoru didn't continue.

"…. Mom, did I change?"

* * *

**If we break apart?**

**How do I make, how will you take**

**My change of heart?**

* * *

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked.

"I…. am I different?" Kaoru asked. "In any way?"

"Of course you are," Mrs. Hitachiin answered. "You're growing up. It's normal if you find yourself different from before."

Oh.

"But you're not the only one different," Mrs. Hitachiin continued. "Hikaru, too, is a little different now. But who says it's a bad thing?"

"It just feels strange," Kaoru admitted. "I'm used to having him beside me all the time. I'm used to hearing him talk about the tricks we've pulled. I'm so used to being with him that these changes are already making me lost. But then, I can't fault Hikaru for anything."

"Why?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked.

"Because it's my fault," Kaoru admitted.

"How can both of you growing up be your fault?"

"Because I was the one who pushed him forward," Kaoru said sadly.

"You had a good reason for doing that, right, dear?" Mrs. Hitachiin asked.

"I thought I did," Kaoru laughed.

"May I ask what the reason was?"

"It was for both of us," Kaoru answered softly. "I knew… I knew that regardless of how we loved our own world, regardless of how we didn't care about others as long as we had each other, I knew that there's no denying the fact that a world of people existed out there. I knew that somehow, we had to learn to live with others."

"And you knew that your brother would have a problem with that, right?"

It was more of a statement than it was a question.

"Because you knew then," Mrs. Hitachiin continued, "that Hikaru only knew how to force his feelings into others."

"I thought he needed to learn to respect others and be more sensitive to others' feelings," Kaoru confirmed. "This was the only way for us to be able to step forward. After all, if we decide to join the real world, what would happen to Hikaru if he couldn't get along with anyone simply because of his insensitivity? So I pushed him on a date with Haruhi because I knew he'd somehow learn how to respect others if he were with her."

"You did the right thing, Kaoru," the boy's mother said softly, putting her hand on top of Kaoru's.

"Then why does it hurt?" Kaoru whispered, pain evident in his voice and in his face. "If I did the right thing, why do I feel lost? Why does it hurt?"

"Oh, Kaoru!" Mrs. Hitachiin pulled her son close and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry. But you really did do the right thing. You were right when you realized that there was a world filled with people beyond that of your own world with Hikaru. And you were right when you decided that both of you needed to step forward. You were right to help your brother."

Mrs. Hitachiin looked at her son in the eye.

"But, dear, perhaps, if you made a mistake somewhere," she continued, "then that mistake would be that you were so focused on helping your brother, you forgot that you needed to step forward, too."

In the end, Mrs. Hitachiin could only hold her son close as he tried to hide his tears in vain.

TBC

Author's Notes: This is my first time writing a fic in this category. After watching the show, this idea just won't stop bothering me. I guess this is partly because I've felt the same way before. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading the fic. Please leave a review if you have the time. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Change Of Heart**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Ouran High School Host Club. Nor do I own the song entitled "Change of Heart" since this one's by Jim Brickman. Another song in this fic is entitled "I'm Still Here" and it was one of the songs in the "Treasure Planet" movie.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed the fic! I hope you enjoy the next part. I have to admit though, it's been a while since I've watched Ouran so I may have lost my grasp on their personalities. Um… I hope it isn't too far off though.

Also, I'm aware of how different I've made the twins' parents become. I actually read the manga only after starting the fic so basically, the fic was more anime–based than it is both (anime and manga). And since in the anime, the parents weren't shown, I didn't really know how they were and decided to make my own version.

By the way, you might notice a lot of line breaks. Sorry about that. No matter how many double spacing I do, the paragraphs never seem to separate properly. There are some paragraphs wherein I want to leave a space in between but yah, doesn't seem to want to work so I had to put the line breaks instead.

Anyway, enjoy!!!

**Change Of Heart**

* * *

**Moving on is gonna take some time**

**When I'm gone, you might have**

**A change of mind**

* * *

When Kaoru was done talking with his mother, he decided to retire to his room. His room. Not Hikaru's. Maybe for tonight, just for tonight, he'd stay in his room alone. His mother had asked him a couple of times if he were sure and if he felt all right. He wasn't – he wasn't all right and no, he definitely wasn't sure of his decision. But he needed this. He needed this for himself. Maybe a part of him wants to prove to himself that things had to change. Maybe that part wants to prove that he no longer needs Hikaru just as the older twin no longer needs him. If he could get through this night alone and still be able to sleep well… then it could become a habit so that he no longer needs to go to Hikaru's room. 

But then… why does a part of him wish that Hikaru would come and demand him to return to his place beside Hikaru?

Kaoru buried his face in his pillow and, though he didn't want to, cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Kaoru woke up the next day feeling a heavy weight on his back as he was sleeping on his stomach. He moaned quietly and rolled to the side. When he finally woke up enough to focus, his eyes fell on the other figure beside him. 

Hikaru.

What was he doing there?

Kaoru could only stare at his brother's sleeping form, shock keeping him from saying or doing anything.

'Why is he here?' came Kaoru's thoughts. 'Shouldn't he be in his room? Could it be… could it be that he really does notice me? Could he really have missed me?'

"Hmmm… Haruhi…. Tono no baka…." Hikaru murmured in his sleep. "…. Love hmmm…."

Kaoru felt his heart stop as he heard his brother's words. Hikaru might be dreaming but then… didn't they say that dreams were reflections of your true desires?

Kaoru turned away, closing his eyes tightly.

'I won't cry. I won't cry,' came the litany. 'After all, it's time to let go. I won't cry. I… I won't….'

But even such conviction cannot stop the tears from falling.

* * *

**Gotta take the chance,**

**No matter what I find.**

* * *

When Kaoru woke up again, he found himself alone in his room. He just stood up and prepared to take a bath before going down for breakfast. 

While he was taking a bath, he stared at the tiles. He could see an outline of his reflection cast on the walls. He stared at his own reflection before he finally came to a decision.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his hand moving to touch the wall. "And goodbye."

It wasn't clear then, if he were saying those words to Hikaru or he meant them for himself.

* * *

When Kaoru went down for breakfast, he found his mother already at the table, sketching designs while eating. 

"Good morning, mom," Kaoru greeted. "Where's Hikaru?"

"He said he needed to get something," Mrs. Hitachiin answered. She looked at Kaoru and smiled. "Probably something for your birthday."

"Heheh," Kaoru sat down, grabbing a croissant. "Then I have to get going, too. Otherwise, he'd complain if I didn't get him anything while he actually woke up early to get me something."

"You sit down and eat your breakfast properly, young man, before you decide to go out," Mrs. Hitachiin said, sternly, pointing at Kaoru with her pen and gesturing at the chair.

Kaoru grinned.

"Yep, mom, love you, too," Kaoru kissed his mother on the cheek and quickly ran out of the dining room. "Hehehe! See you later, mom!"

"Don't be out long, Kaoru!" his mother called after him. "We still have to plan for your birthday together with your brother!"

"We have time, mom," Kaoru smiled, sticking his head inside the dining room to look at his mom. "Our birthday's not till next week."

After that, Kaoru ran out the door and smiled sadly even as sunlight greeted him.

'Yes. Everything will be over soon.'

* * *

**No matter how far I travel**

* * *

A few days have passed. Everything seemed normal since everyone was following the same routine. That is, except for Kaoru. Lately, he had been going out a lot and would not say anything to his brother about it. Hikaru, on the other hand, didn't notice. If he did, it didn't bother him so much that he would ask Kaoru about it. He only assumed that Kaoru had a lot to prepare for. After all, their birthday was coming soon. Perhaps Kaoru was buying gifts or something. At least, that was what Hikaru thought. 

One afternoon, Kaoru found himself running late as the Host Club was already open and he didn't even get into his costume yet. He was in the principal's office, settling some things and he hadn't expected it to take longer than an hour, but then, an emergency delayed the meeting and resulted to the meeting ending late. He could only hope that Kyouya's in a good mood. Or that Hikaru's managing on his own. Otherwise, the shadow king would probably kill him.

When Kaoru reached the Third Music Room, he didn't see the sign above and just entered the room, hoping to sneak in before Kyouya could actually notice exactly how late he was. However, as he entered the room, the first sight that greeted him was that of his brother kissing Haruhi. Never mind Tamaki wailing. Never mind Mori covering Honey's eyes or Kyouya scribbling on his clipboard. All Kaoru could see was Hikaru. His brother.

His brother was kissing Haruhi.

At that moment, Kaoru felt something die inside of him.

The fairytale was over.

* * *

**I think of you as home**

* * *

It was only less than a minute but it seemed like forever to Kaoru. The next moment, however, found Tamaki sulking in a corner as Haruhi scolded him while Hikaru was smirking and teasing Tamaki. Kaoru just shook his head as he headed towards the dressing room but Kyouya stopped him just before he actually reached the door of the dressing room. 

"Where are you going?" came the shadow king's question.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kaoru looked at Kyouya in confusion. "Dressing room. You know, to change?"

Kyouya raised an eyebrow.

However, before any of them could say anything, Honey came over, pouncing on Kaoru.

"The club's closed for today, Kao–chan!" Honey exclaimed. "Tama–chan declared a break so today, we can enjoy cake!"

Kaoru had to smile at the childlike senior.

"Ne, Kao–chan, would you like to eat cake with me?" Honey continued. "I have chocolate, strawberry, mango…. Takashi also bought me kiwi–flavored cake. He said that it was an experimental flavor. Want to test it with me, Kao–chan?"

"Ah, maybe next time, Honey–senpai," Kaoru smiled sheepishly. 'I'm not exactly fond of experimenting on myself when it comes to food but he doesn't need to know that.'

"Hmm?" Honey looked at Kaoru for a moment before he smiled and jumped off.

"Okay, next time then!" Honey said, happily. He ran towards Mori.

"Takashi!!!" Honey had a big smile on his face. "Cake!!! Let's eat cake!!!"

Kaoru just smiled and turned back to look at his twin brother.

"Do you regret it?"

"Huh?" Kaoru snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at Kyouya who was, at the moment, scribbling something on his clipboard. "Regret what?"

"Bringing them closer," came the simple answer.

Kaoru's eyes widened. Was he THAT obvious?

"No, you're not that obvious," Kyouya said as he stopped writing. "At least, not to some people."

Kaoru smiled wryly.

'Yup. Undisputedly the shadow king. Complete with mindreading skills. Now I know how scared I am of him.'

"Well?"

"Um…." Kaoru turned to look at his brother again. He watched Hikaru laugh at something Tamaki had said, the comment causing Haruhi to get even angrier at the blonde person.

Did he regret changing things, which resulted to his brother being happier?

'How could I regret seeing him happy?' Kaoru wondered.

"No," Kaoru said softly. "Even if bringing them closer wasn't really my objective, I don't regret it being like this. Besides," he continued, now in a softer voice, "how can I regret it when I was the one who made those three mistakes?"

Kyouya pushed his glasses up before speaking up.

"You're contradicting yourself. After all, isn't regret usually caused by mistakes?"

A shrug.

"Tamaki–senpai did say we were a contradiction. So I don't see why I should disagree now. But if you must insist, then let me rephrase it. Do I have the right to regret when it was my choice that resulted to this?"

"I didn't know that you needed rights to actually feel something," Kyouya remarked, sounding a little amused. However, he became a little more serious. "You said you made three mistakes."

"Yes," Kaoru admitted. "But it's none of your business to know."

"It is my business considering that this affects your performance."

Kaoru studied Kyouya's face for a while. After some time, Kaoru smiled.

"If I tell you, will you do something for me?"

"Depends on the request."

"I'm not asking much."

A moment of silence. Then,

"We'll see."

* * *

**It's not about finding someone else,**

* * *

"At that time, all I was trying to do was try to help Hikaru grow up. I was trying to get him to learn how to respect people and be more sensitive to their feelings. At that time, and perhaps even till now, Haruhi was the only one who could be the test person. After all, it will be pointless to push Hikaru into learning how to respect someone if the person he is supposed to practice on cannot tell us apart. In order for him to grow, he needs someone who could see him as himself and not as one of the twins. That was why it had to be Haruhi. That time, you asked me if I ever considered the possibilities of love actually developing from the date plan," Kaoru started, smiling wistfully. "That was then that I realized my mistake. My first mistake was that I was so busy trying to help Hikaru grow up that I didn't realize that it also meant letting him go. He's my brother. We've been together, just the two of us for so long and I'm not sure I want to let go of him right away. So, in order to convince myself that I didn't make a mistake, I told you then that it was still too early. Too early for Hikaru to just fall in love like that. 

"And I guess…." Kaoru smiled sadly, "… and I guess that was where I made my second mistake. I don't think I was wrong when I said that it was still too early for love to happen. After all, I'm not sure that it can be called love if you immediately fall for a person after a first glance or a first date or something because there's not enough time to know the person. But then, that was my second mistake. Because I never realized that, Hikaru didn't fall in love with Haruhi because of that date. He had slowly been falling for her since the day she entered the club and became our friend."

Silence followed when Kaoru didn't continue.

Then, Kyouya looked at the younger teen.

"You said there were three," he reminded.

"Aa," Kaoru smiled as he leaned back against the wall, looking up before looking at his brother again. "My mother pointed this one out to me. And she was right."

Kaoru smiled at Kyouya.

"I guess," he continued, "my mother was right. She said I had been so focused on helping Hikaru. It may have been true. She said that I may have been too focused on helping Hikaru that I forgot to step forward myself when I pushed my brother forward."

Kaoru laughed, though Kyouya could detect the sadness in the teen's voice.

"But I guess it wasn't only that," Kaoru continued, "because I think it has something to do with the fact that I was so used to always being together with Hikaru, I probably thought I'd move forward when he does. Subconsciously, that was probably what I kept thinking. Hehe…. I guess that was pretty stupid."

Kaoru then looked at Kyouya.

"I've told you everything," Kaoru smiled gently. "So now, I'd like to request something from you…."

* * *

**It's all about being alone**

* * *

Kaoru suddenly pitched forward when a heavy weight landed on his back. He managed to regain his balance and when he turned, he saw Honey's smiling face. Kaoru would have been alarmed, thinking that the senior could have heard the conversation he had with Kyouya. However, the feeling didn't last long. After all, if Honey was smiling, then it means that he didn't hear anything, right? 

"Ne, Kao–chan! Let's play!" Honey said. "I asked Hika–chan and Tama–chan and they said we can play Kankeri so Haru–chan can enjoy that game again. So let's play, okay, Kao–chan? You like games, too, right? Then let's play! We can go eat dinner afterwards and have cake for dessert!"

"Um.…" Kaoru murmured.

"You don't like to play with me?" Honey looked at Kaoru with teary eyes.

"Of course I like playing with you!" Kaoru forced a smile. He bent down so Honey can get down on the floor. He stayed down, half – kneeling as he looked at Honey.

"Now, shall we go out?" he asked.

Honey nodded excitedly, holding his bunny close. Kaoru stood up and as they were about to walk out, Honey said something.

"I hope Kyou–chan becomes the 'it' again," Honey stated, "right, Takashi?"

"Aa," came the taller person's reply.

"Kyouya?" Kaoru looked at Honey in confusion.

"Oh good," Hikaru commented nonchalantly. "At least, if anyone of us gets lost, we're sure to be found."

"WHAT?!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"But Tamaki–senpai, you really did get us lost before," Haruhi said.

Tamaki was then found crying in one corner of the room.

"All right," Kyouya said briskly. "Let's go."

As everyone walked towards the field, Kaoru looked at their backs silently. Honey was sitting on top of Mori's shoulders, chattering happily. Tamaki was discussing something with Kyouya. And Hikaru…. Hikaru was talking with Haruhi.

'So where do I stay?' Kaoru thought to himself. 'They… they all have their own worlds. Where do I go if my world with Hikaru world no longer exists?'

* * *

**Because who I am and who I'll be**

* * *

Kaoru watched, smiling slightly as Honey pouted. 

"Honey–senpai, you know it's only fair," Tamaki tried to tell the senior.

"But I don't want Takashi to be the 'it' in this game," Honey protested. He hugged his bunny closer. "I don't want it!"

"Mitsukuni…." Came Mori's warning tone.

"Let's begin," Kyouya said, walking away. Everyone else started to run around, trying to find the best hiding place. Everyone except Honey. The senior stayed where he was. Kaoru stopped running and looked back to see Honey looking at Mori. Kaoru smiled. He jogged towards them.

"Honey–senpai," Kaoru said, gently, "why don't we go hide?"

"But I don't want to!" Honey pouted. "I don't want to be the 'it.'"

"That's why we have to hide," Kaoru said.

"B – but Takashi always finds me," Honey argued, shaking his head as he refused to move.

"Um…." Kaoru thought for a while. "Well, then I'll hide with you."

"Eh? Why?"

"That way," Kaoru smiled, eyes closing in the process, "you can hide behind me when Mori–senpai finds us so that you won't be 'it' at all."

"But then, Kao–chan," Hone said, "you'll be 'it'"

"It's fine," Kaoru said. "Now, shall we go hide?"

Honey looked at Mori.

"I'll find the others first," Mori said, as if to comfort the smaller boy.

Honey smiled.

"Arigatou, Takashi!" Honey grabbed Kaoru's hand. "Ah, Kao–chan! We have to hide fast! Let's go to the most hidden place ever! Then, we can go back to the music room and eat cake after our game!"

Kaoru nearly tripped over himself as the senior pulled him towards the maze.

Mori started counting.

* * *

**Is locked inside, inside of me**

* * *

Kaoru was walking around the maze when he noticed that Honey had dropped behind. Kaoru turned to face the senior. 

"Honey–senpai?" Kaoru looked at the senior questioningly.

"Kao–chan," Honey started, "daijoubu?"

Confusion filled Kaoru's mind. Why was Honey–senpai asking him if he were all right? Did something happen?

"Aa," Kaoru frowned slightly. "Is something wrong, Honey–senpai?"

Honey's eyes suddenly became watery. Tears started to fall down the senior's cheeks.

"Ah!" Kaoru quickly tried to stop the boy from crying. "Honey–senpai! You don't need to cry! Uh, what's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?"

Honey just shook his head.

"Gomen ne," Honey cried. "Gomen ne, Kao–chan."

"But…" Kaoru looked troubled, "why? Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything."

Honey just shook his head. He bawled, hugging Kaoru tightly.

"I – I don't understand, Honey–senpai," Kaoru said, "but maybe you should stop crying. Come on, it can't be that bad. Besides," Kaoru tried to lighten the mood, "Mori–senpai will kill me if he sees you crying."

"Don't you understand?" a cold voice came from behind Kaoru.

Kaoru turned to see Kyouya.

"Kyouya–senpai?" Kaoru looked at the other, confused.

Mori came up from behind Kyouya. Kaoru felt his heart skip a beat.

"Ah!" Kaoru stammered. "Mori–senpai, he just started – I – I'm not sure why he's crying."

Mori didn't say anything. He walked towards them. Kaoru braced himself, swallowing hard and hoping he'd live through whatever torture he may soon experience for making Honey cry even though he had no idea as to why the senior was crying.

Wait! What did Kyouya mean by….

"What don't I understand, senpai?" Kaoru asked Kyouya.

Kyouya looked at Kaoru calculatingly before turning away.

"Let's go," Kyouya just said. "It's best we find the others since it's getting late."

Kaoru wasn't sure if he was missing something.

"Mitsukuni," Mori uttered.

Honey pulled away from Kaoru, sniffing and wiping his tears with his sleeve. He then went to his usual place atop Mori's shoulders.

"Let's go," Kyouya said as he waited for them.

They all went to continue searching for the remaining members.

It was when they were all heading back to the clubroom that Kaoru finally understood what had prompted Honey to cry.

"He's crying," Mori–senpai had murmured, in a whisper that only Kaoru could hear, "for you. Because you refuse to cry, he's crying for you."

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Change Of Heart**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Ouran High School Host Club. Nor do I own the song entitled "Change of Heart" since this one's by Jim Brickman. Another song in this fic is entitled "I'm Still Here" and it was one of the songs in the "Treasure Planet" movie.

**Author's Notes:** Well, this is the last part of the fic. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You really made my day! And I really hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

To those who reviewed:

PaolaAdara  
PinkberrySodaa  
TTF13  
Manufactured Guidelines  
Jean Anderson  
Holyspark

And to the anonymous people who reviewed, thank you again!

**Change Of Heart**

* * *

**'Cuz if I follow my heart**

* * *

After club activities, Kaoru found himself walking towards the maze, alone. Hikaru had already gone out to take Haruhi home while Tamaki went with them to ensure that Hikaru wouldn't molest 'his daughter'. Kyouya and the others were probably going to go home soon so Kaoru decided to slip out of the club room before any of them and take a walk outside. He wasn't aware of Honey, Kyouya and Mori watching him from the clubroom window. 

"Was it necessary?" Mori asked Honey.

"I couldn't help it," Honey bit his lip, holding his bunny close for comfort. "Every time I see him, he smiles as if nothing is wrong. He's hurting inside but I don't think Hika–chan notices. And the fact that Hika–chan doesn't notice hurts Kao–chan even more because they're brothers, twins. For your own brother to not notice your pain…. Ne, Kyou–chan, will you fulfill Kao–chan's request?"

"I have to think about it," Kyouya answered.

"Maybe you should," Honey suggested.

"Mitsukuni," Mori started.

"Because I think Kao–chan needs it," Honey continued.

Kyouya pushed his glasses up, writing something in his notebook before closing it.

"He's running away that way," Kyouya said.

"But I think he needs it," Honey said. "Because I think the truth is, Kao–chan isn't hurting because he forgot to step forward."

From his statement, it was clear that he heard the conversation between Kaoru and Kyouya.

"He's not hurting from that," Honey continued. "Because if he were, he should be able to correct that mistake now that he knows that he also forgot to move forward. He should have been able to start looking at things differently and be happy as he changes. But he's still in pain. So I think he's hurting not because he forgot to step forward, rather, because he didn't want to."

* * *

**Will you still be my friend,**

* * *

Kaoru just watched the sky grow darker. Honestly, he didn't want to go home yet. Going home would mean facing Hikaru. At the moment, he wasn't sure he could face his brother without breaking down. It was almost time. Just a few more days and then…. 

"Do you have plans of staying in here overnight?" a voice asked.

"Ah, Kyouya–senpai," Kaoru smiled. "I thought you went home already. Where's Honey–senpai and Mori–senpai?"

"Home," was all Kyouya said. "You should be going, too, Kaoru."

"Mm," Kaoru looked at the sky. Stars were starting to become more visible. "I'll be on my way soon."

Kyouya didn't say anything. However, he didn't leave. Instead, he stayed behind Kaoru, watching the stars like the younger teen.

"How did you know?" Kaoru suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

Kyouya raised an eyebrow as the boy looked at him. Kaoru smiled at this.

"How did you know that I wasn't Hikaru?"

"I don't think Hikaru is the poetic type," was Kyouya's simple answer.

"Do you have to be to appreciate the stars?" Kaoru asked.

"Even if he were, he's not the type to appreciate them anyway," Kyouya said.

"Aa," Kaoru gave a small smile. "So that's all there is to it. You can tell it's not Hikaru since I'm more sentimental?"

"No," Kyouya pushed his glasses up. "You and Hikaru have always done things together. But… even you have your differences. Your voice, for one. And Hikaru is, as Haruhi once said, a level meaner than you are. You're much calmer, too."

"Hmm," Kaoru looked at Kyouya before looking back at the stars.

"You're really going through with it?" came Kyouya's question.

"Yes," Kaoru answered. "I've finished everything I needed to do. Now, I just have to wait."

"Is it really THAT important?"

"It is to me," Kaoru said softly, looking at his hands. "If Hikaru finds his way, what will happen to me? So I need to find myself. We've always been together. No one has ever told us apart before Haruhi. So… now that things are becoming different, I don't know what to do. Who am I really? After all, it's always been the two of us. What Hikaru did, I also followed. But now, I cannot be like him."

Kyouya didn't say anything. But, after a few minutes, he started to walk away.

"Let's go," Kyouya said. "I'll drop you off."

Kaoru gave one last look at the sky before joining Kyouya.

It was only when they arrived at Kaoru's home that Kyouya finally said something.

"You underestimated us, Kaoru," Kyouya said, his eyes hidden by the light reflected on his glasses. "Did you think that after being friends for so long, we wouldn't be able to tell you and Hikaru apart?[1 We just never said anything. You said you don't know what to do since you've always been so similar. And perhaps it is true. After all, both of you speak simultaneously and do things together. Both of you think of ideas at the same time and execute your acts perfectly not because all of them were rehearsed but because you both knew what the other was thinking that even an impromptu act would just be nothing to you. But did you ever realize, Kaoru, that it is when both of you are together that you are most distinguishable?[2"

* * *

**If we break apart?**

* * *

The evening of the twins' birthday, Kaoru found himself smiling less. It was almost as though he regretted his plans but then, there was nothing more that he can do. He already troubled a lot of people. How could he just back out at the last minute? 

"Oi! Kaoru!" Hikaru laughed as he walked towards his brother. "Want to try putting pepper in Tono's punch?"

Kaoru smiled.

"Nah," he said. "I think I'll enjoy the peace for a while."

"Heheh…." Hikaru grinned. "As long as everyone in the club is in the same room, it'll never be peace and quiet. All right, I'll be going then. I'm going to ask Haruhi to dance."

"Aa," Kaoru forced a smile.

As Kaoru watched his brother walk away, Honey tugged at the teen's jacket.

"Honey–senpai?" Kaoru looked at Honey.

"Kao–chan!" Honey smiled widely, holding up a big present. "Happy birthday!"

"Aa," Kaoru smiled, this time, for real. He gently took the present from the senior. "Thank you, Honey–senpai."

"That's for you!" Honey smiled. Even at the party, he had his bunny with him. "I gave Hikaru his but then, he went away since he had something to do so Takashi went and placed the gift on the table along with the others."

"Eh?" Kaoru looked at the table piled with presents. "Honey–senpai… you needn't buy two. Hikaru and I can share."

"But Hikaru listens to music more than you do," Honey reasoned out. "And besides, you like books more than music."

Kaoru had to smile at the senior's thoughtfulness.

"Arigatou, Honey–senpai," Kaoru said.

Honey looked at Kaoru thoughtfully as though analyzing the teen. Then, Honey smiled.

"Kao–chan, where's your birthday cake? Can I see?" Honey dragged Kaoru to the buffet table. "What flavor are you having anyway? Is it a three – layer cake?"

Kaoru laughed, thankful for the distraction. Leave it to Honey to think of cake even when it wasn't his birthday.

"We can eat cake, right?" Honey asked, looking at Kaoru expectantly.

"Well, we have to ask Hikaru first," Kaoru laughed. "I think he'll want to blow the candles first."

"Then let's go!" Honey exclaimed happily. He quickly pulled Kaoru along as they went to find Hikaru.

On the way, Kaoru turned and saw the clock on the wall. He suddenly froze.

"Kao–chan?" Honey looked back at the teen, questioningly.

Kaoru slowly turned to look at Honey.

"Gomen ne, Honey–senpai," Kaoru said softly. "It's time."

* * *

**How will I make, how will you take**

* * *

Kaoru didn't say anything as he looked out the car. He watched as they passed by places familiar to him. Places he visited with his twin. 

All the malls, all the restaurants, and perhaps even the school…. All of these comprised the place he called "home." But not anymore.

Kaoru got his phone from his bag. He held it for a while, pondering on his next move.

Finally, after a few minutes, Kaoru came to a decision.

* * *

Hikaru smiled at Haruhi just as the song ended. He spent almost the whole night dancing with her, which resulted to Tamaki wailing in another room. 

"I have to go now," Hikaru said, smiling apologetically at Haruhi. "I still have to wrap my gift for Kaoru."

"Ne, Hikaru," Haruhi started as they walked away from the dance floor, "is something going on with you and Kaoru? He seems different these days."

Hikaru stopped walking and stared at her.

"What do you mean?" Hikaru asked.

Haruhi stopped walking and turned to face Hikaru.

"Well, I thought maybe you guys had a fight or something," Haruhi said.

"Why do you say that?" Hikaru asked again.

Haruhi looked at Hikaru thoughtfully. After a while, she spoke.

"Hikaru," Haruhi said, slowly, "you haven't been spending time with Kaoru much these days, have you?"

When Hikaru didn't say anything, Haruhi frowned a bit.

"Didn't you notice?" Haruhi asked. "I thought you knew the reason as to why Kaoru has been so sad these days."

Hikaru's eyes widened.

If everyone knew and he didn't, then what kind of a brother was he?

Without a word, Hikaru strode off to find his twin brother.

* * *

**My change of heart?**

* * *

Hikaru growled as he found their room empty. 

Where the hell was Kaoru?!

"Damn it!"

Hikaru was about to go to another room when he noticed something different. He entered their room and looked around.

Something was off.

Hikaru frowned and randomly opened their cabinets. That was when he noticed the single set of clothes. He looked down and found only one set of shoes. Everything was his. What happened to Kaoru's things?

Wait….

'No, don't tell me….'

Hikaru quickly checked the other cabinets. He found some luggage missing.

'That… that baka!' Hikaru quickly got his phone and dialed Kaoru's number.

"Hello?" came Kaoru's gentle voice from the other line.

"Kaoru?!" Hikaru grasped the phone tightly. "Kaoru, where are you?"

Silence was all that Hikaru could get.

"KAORU!" Hikaru was now starting to get frustrated. "Answer me, Kaoru! Where are you?! You're…. This is a joke, right? You're not really…."

A moment of silence and then,

"Gomen, Hikaru."

And the line went dead.

Hikaru stared at his phone before redialing Kaoru's number. But despite the number of times he tried to call, Kaoru never picked them up.

* * *

Kaoru hugged the stuffed bunny closer as he clenched his fists and closed his eyes tightly. Tears fell from his eyes as he ignored the continuous ringing beside him. 

"Kaoru–sama," the chauffer said, hesitantly.

"It's okay," Kaoru said. "I'm fine."

…_. Kaoru looked at the stuffed toy Honey presented to him. _

"_Honey–senpai?" Kaoru asked hesitantly. "Why–?"_

"_So that you can have company!" Honey smiled as he handed his precious toy to Kaoru. _

"_But…." Kaoru tried to protest._

"_It's okay," Honey smiled. "Usa–chan can keep you company! That way, you won't be sad anymore! Then, someday, you have to give Usa–chan back! But, Kao–chan, you have to come bring me Usa–chan personally because Usa–chan's scared of being alone. And she doesn't like staying in the cargo, too! You have to ride with her on the plane and feed her and let her drink tea!"_

"_Ano…." Kaoru smiled sheepishly._

"_Kao–chan," Honey suddenly became more serious, "have you ever thought that perhaps Hikaru needs you as much as you need him?"_

_It was a thought that never occurred to him, Kaoru realized, because even though he thought of Hikaru as his most important person, to Hikaru, Haruhi was probably the most important person at this time…._

Kaoru's hands shook as he tried to type in a message on his phone.

'Gomen ne, Hikaru,' Kaoru thought sadly. 'Gomen.'

* * *

**How will you take**

* * *

"What do you mean I can't go?!" Hikaru growled at Kyouya. "I'm going to find him and bring him back!" 

"You can't," Kyouya said simply.

"Kyouya–senpai," Haruhi said, coming to Hikaru's aid, "if you knew that Kaoru was leaving, why didn't you say anything? Shouldn't we go after him?"

Kyouya didn't answer.

Hikaru growled and turned away, leaving the mansion and calling for a driver. He didn't care to know the reason why Kyouya was keeping him from going after his brother but there was no way he'd allow Kaoru to go! Not without him.

"Kyouya–senpai," Haruhi looked at Hikaru's retreating form. "Why–?"

"Kao–chan wanted to go," Honey answered for Kyouya.

Honey and Mori walked towards the two. Tamaki soon joined them.

"But," Haruhi looked outside before turning back to the group. "Isn't it bad to just leave things as they are?"

"Kaoru probably needs it," Tamaki said, now serious.

"Tamaki–senpai," Haruhi looked at the blonde.

"Kaoru's probably trying to find himself," Tamaki explained. "So he needs to go away for a while."

"I can understand that," Haruhi said, "but is it so personal that he couldn't do it with Hikaru around?"

"It's because Hika–chan is around that Kao–chan can't grow," Honey said. Mori nodded in agreement.

"Unlike you, Haruhi," Kyouya started, "Kaoru does have his own desires. Unfortunately, he is so used to thinking about Hikaru that he is willing to forego his wishes if it could just make Hikaru happy. You could say that Kaoru probably forgot how to live for himself and not for others."

Haruhi tilted her head a bit as she studied Kyouya.

"That really doesn't sound like you talking, senpai," she said.

Kyouya raised an eyebrow.

Haruhi smiled.

"You don't usually express your concern for others quite openly."

Kyouya looked down a bit, pushing his glasses up. He thought about that afternoon in the music room.

…_. Kaoru was smiling then. _

"_I've told you everything. So now, I'd like to request something from you…."_

"_That is?" Kyouya waited for the teen's answer._

"_To keep my location a secret," Kaoru smiled. "I know you can probably track me down if you try. So please, please don't tell anyone. Please let me do this on my own. Make sure no one comes after me."_

"_Is that all?" Kyouya asked, scribbling on his notebook. _

"_Hmm…. Please give Hikaru a message when I'm gone."_

"_You could give it to him yourself."_

"_But then," Kaoru smiled, sadly, "I won't be able to leave. He won't let me."_

"_Shouldn't that already mean something?" Kyouya asked. _

"_Not really," Kaoru said. "He could just be scared of the thought of being alone. But he isn't. He has Haruhi… and he has all of you."_

"_Then what about you?" _

_Kaoru looked at Kyouya._

"_Me? Well, I guess I'll have a new beginning then."_

"_That's not what I meant," Kyouya said, looking away and watching Hikaru laugh at Tamaki._

"_Then what do you mean?"_

"_Hikaru does have all of us. But it's you that he wants more than anyone else."_

"_Can't be," Kaoru said, now looking at his brother. "Because he rarely sees me now."_

_That was when Kaoru pitched forward as Honey landed on his back…._

Kyouya slowly took an envelope from his notebook.

"What's that?" Tamaki asked.

"Something for Hikaru," Kyouya said simply. He walked to the pile of gifts on the table and, seeing Kaoru's gift for Hikaru, tucked the letter in between the ribbons to hold it in place.

"But are you sure we can just leave this as is?" Haruhi insisted, looking at Kyouya and then at Tamaki.

"Well," Tamaki started, "let's just give them time."

"But what if it's too late?" Haruhi asked.

"We should just leave them be," Kyouya said coldly, walking away.

"Kyouya!" Tamaki exclaimed. "That's rude, walking away like that!"

"We've always interfered with their problems," Kyouya said, not turning to face them. "Maybe it's time they learned to sort things out themselves."

"But what if they don't?" Haruhi insisted.

"Haru–chan," Honey piped up, "I think it'll be fine. Maybe after sometime, Kaoru will realize what is missing and Hikaru will realize what is important."

"Besides," Tamaki added. "If worse comes to worst, we're here aren't we? We can help them out. But give them time. This time, let's hope they can see for themselves what is really there instead of what they think is there."

* * *

**My change of heart?**

* * *

Kaoru looked out the plane window, sadly. 

This was it. This was the last time he was going to see this place.

"Hikaru…." Kaoru murmured.

Suddenly, Kaoru saw something that made his eyes widen.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru placed his hands on the window as he moved closer.

Hikaru was in the airport. He was banging against the glass windows as he yelled for Kaoru.

Tears fell from Kaoru's eyes as he watched his brother fight off the guards who tried to pull him away from the window.

* * *

"DON'T DO THIS TO ME, KAORU!!!" Hikaru yelled, banging at the glass. "GET DOWN FROM THAT PLANE!!! KAORU!!!" 

Hikaru struggled from the guards' hold and quickly ran outside to where the plane was.

"Oi! THAT'S DANGEROUS!!!" came many of the guards' warnings.

Hikaru ignored them all. He quickly ran as the plane moved away.

"NO!!!" Hikaru yelled, watching as Kaoru slowly turned away. "KAORU!!!"

* * *

"Gomen ne," Kaoru whispered, tears starting to fall from his eyes as he turned away from the window reluctantly. 

A handkerchief was presented to him.

Kaoru looked up with teary eyes and saw an old woman, smiling at him.

"He must really love you to come after you even though it's dangerous," the woman commented. "Are you sure you want to leave things as is?"

Kaoru's eyes tears up even more and he accepted the offer of the handkerchief.

"I can't," Kaoru sobbed. "I hate this!"

"Then why are you doing this?" the woman asked. "Surely it's hurting both of you."

"I hate this," Kaoru sobbed. "But I need this. I need to get away."

"Your brother loves you, you know."

"…. But he doesn't need me…."

"…. Then why did he come?"

* * *

"NO!!!" Hikaru sank to his knees, punching the ground hard. "KAORU!!!" 

"Hikaru–sama," his driver came after the boy. "We have to go. It's dangerous here."

"Why?" Hikaru growled. "Why would he do this? Why would he leave me? Kaoru…. WHY?!?!?!"

His phone lit up continuously but Hikaru ignored it. It was the driver who picked up his master's phone. That was when the driver saw the message from Kaoru.

_Sayonara. _

* * *

"He's been like that since he arrived," Haruhi said. 

She and the other host club members were watching the older twin as he sat on the bed, staring out the window without a word. Kaoru's unopened gift to him lay on the bed in front of him, the letter Kyouya inserted being the only one actually touched.

"Will he be okay?" Haruhi asked the others.

"I don't know," Tamaki said, looking hesitant now.

Perhaps they really did make a mistake in letting the twins be.

"Maybe we should have shown Kao–chan the gift Hikaru had for him," Honey remarked.

"The gift???" Haruhi and the others looked at Honey.

Honey looked at Mori, who produced the unwrapped gift.

It was a big book.

When they opened it, they found a collection of stories, probably Kaoru's favourites. There were also pictures of the twins as they were growing up and some pictures of the Host club.

It was quite a thick book and everyone could see how much effort Hikaru gave to produce the perfect gift. It was too bad that Kaoru didn't wait for the time to open gifts before leaving. Maybe… just maybe, he would have stayed. Because on the back cover, on the inside, was a message engraved in gold.

_To my twin brother, Kaoru:_

_You're the best and most important person in my life! I wouldn't trade you for the world!_

_Love, your partner–in–crime, Hikaru._

* * *

_Dear Hikaru,_

_By the time you read this letter, I'll probably be gone now. I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this. But I didn't know what to do. You seemed so far away already. It was always Haruhi now. Sometimes, I wonder if you even remember that I'm still here. _

_I miss you, Hikaru. I miss the times when we'd go home together. I miss the times when we'd eat breakfast and leave for school together. I miss the times when we'd make fun of Tono and I miss the times when we would just play around. I miss them all simple because I really miss you. _

_Our world isn't there anymore, Hikaru. You've found another and I'm left behind. Now, I have to find my own way. I can't do this anymore, Hikaru. You've already forgotten. So please, let me go now. Please give me the chance to let you go.[3. _

_I love you, brother. And I'll miss you. _

_Kaoru_

* * *

**THE END**

**Author's Notes: **

**[1 **Oh yes, in case you're wondering, some of the parts are changed a bit. I don't really know if the other people in the Host club can tell the twins apart, excluding Haruhi. But I guess that's the part I find strange in the anime. I've had lots of friends (twins) and I never had trouble telling them apart even though some of them do enjoy trying to fool people. But to others, they really look the same so I think once you get to know them, they seem different. So I guess that's what I want to bring out in the fic. Since Tamaki and the others did know the twins a lot longer, I thought maybe they should be able to tell them apart. But then, that's just me.

**[2** I also asked someone I know who has twins and he told me that it was easiest to tell them apart when they're together. He said that it's when they are together that you can see the difference.

**[3 **I got this last line from the movie "Lake House". This may not be the exact line. I'm not quite sure since I can't remember things quite as well as most people. Anyway, I couldn't forget the idea behind those lines so yah... those lines were from that movie.

**NOTE: **

I plan to write a sequel but it's not yet definite since things have been quite hectic and I'm not sure if I'll still be able to have a good, if not fair, grasp on the characters' personalities by the time I can write so on hold.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the fic.


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